Create a personalised content profile. Measure ad performance. Select basic ads. Create a personalised ads profile. Select personalised ads. Apply market research to generate audience insights. Measure content performance. Develop and improve products. List of Partners vendors. Share Flipboard Email. By Ashley Crossman.
Measure ad performance. Select basic ads. Create a personalised ads profile. Select personalised ads. Apply market research to generate audience insights. Measure content performance. Develop and improve products. List of Partners vendors. Commonplace in toxic families, scapegoats are children blamed for all of the problems in dysfunctional households.
The scapegoat, then, bears the burden of taking on the misdeeds of a tribe, community, or family. When children are assigned this role, the impact can be detrimental to their mental health and emotional well-being for a lifetime.
Instead, insults, bullying, neglect, and abuse are deemed appropriate for the child forced into this position. There is no rhyme or reason for how parents or caregivers decide to scapegoat a child. Factors as arbitrary as birth order, gender, looks, or intellect may influence an adult to scapegoat a child.
For example, the only boy in the family might be the favorite or golden child, while the second-born daughter is assigned the scapegoat role.
Why a parent decides to scapegoat a child tends not to make any sense because this behavior is rooted in dysfunction. For example, a child who is sensitive, inquisitive, attractive, and smart might be perceived as a threat and scapegoated by a parent who lacks these qualities. In some cases, parents might mistreat children who resemble or remind them of their ex-partners. For example, biological children might be treated differently from stepchildren or adopted children in the home.
Parents might also scapegoat children based on skin color, sexual orientation, or gender identity. Perhaps, for years, the son was the golden child, and then he upset the parent in some way that led to the long-scapegoated daughter becoming the favorite. Only children of dysfunctional and abusive parents report that they are sometimes the golden child, and other times, the scapegoat.
The same child can have these roles projected onto them, indicating just how troubled parents who engage in this behavior are. Other researchers have specified some conditions in which scapegoating against a particular group is most likely to occur.
For example, the scapegoated group tends to be one of relatively low power. Otherwise, the group would be able to stamp out the opposition brought from the masses. The scapegoated group also tends to be a group that is somehow recognizable as distinct from the ingroup the group to which one belongs , so that group members can be easily identified and associated with the undesired situation. Finally, the scapegoat tends to pose a real threat to the ingroup, intentionally or unintentionally.
For example, lynchings against Blacks rose dramatically when the economic prospects for Whites began to drop off. As a result, that individual is more likely to participate in the behavior again. If you're the one that's being the scapegoat all the time it can be frustrating.
You feel like there's absolutely nothing you can do. When someone around you misbehaves, it's all your fault, and whether you've started to act out or feel depressed about it, it's important to get help. You don't deserve to be blamed for things that have nothing to do with you, but if it continues to happen, it's going to affect the way you grow up. Maybe it already has. If you're the scapegoat, then it's time to seek out professional help first.
Talk to someone outside your family and outside the group that normally scapegoats you. A professional therapist or psychiatrist can be a great way to go because they have absolutely no preconceived notions and they are there specifically for you.
They listen to what's been going on in your life and how it affects you, and they can help you work through those feelings and gain greater self-confidence, self-esteem, and sense of identity. Once this happens, you can feel more confident approaching those who have been treating you badly, or at least ignore them if the trend continues.
There are things you can do at home to keep you grounded, even if you are still going through the mistreatment. The first step is to build a support system that treats you right. Your support system is like a family that you choose for yourself. Another thing you should do is talk to yourself in a nice way. You are a human being who deserves love and support.
Make sure you are doing things that make you happy. Start buying that ice cream you like or eat an extra slice of pizza from time to time. You must also remember that sometimes people scapegoat others when they come from a dysfunctional situation themselves. They were never taught how to treat people fairly and they may not think they are doing anything wrong.
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